It was as like the moment I started to get really into someone, I wouldn’t be able to breathe properly. Like my body couldn’t adjust to any of those feelings. And as soon as I had received a confirmation that it was mutual, my brain would stop for a minute. It had to process what just happened. The moment in which you know it’s getting serious, that’s such a huge moment for me. The moment I would walk in a room, where he would be present, in that moment I wouldn’t know how to act or respond to the situation. It was such a defining moment, it would terrify me from the inside. Off course, I would feel joy, but I would feel fear too. Because when your world only revolves around yourself, you have only yourself to think about. But now that you’re in a relationship, it’s you and somebody else. I would feel fear so strong, my whole body would just be paralysed at times. As if it couldn’t believe what was going on. And at times, fear would take over my whole body. I wouldn’t be able to think. With everything I would be doing, I would be somewhere else with my thoughts.